Jailbird
by acer-sigma
Summary: Being separated behind bars isn't new to Daniel and Vala, Having it happen on Earth however is.  Established Daniel Vala relationship.


**Jailbird **

**By acer-sigma**

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Stargate SG-1or anything associated with it. I am just borrowing the characters for my and hopefully everyone else's amusement.

**Spoilers:** None.

**Timeline:** After S10 and after the Ori have been dealt with.

xxxx

"Well now, this is kind of familiar don't you think," Vala asked casually as she leaned against the cell, dangling her arms between the bars. "Though I must say," she added while casting her eyes around the cell, "your Tau'ri jails are a lot nicer than the ones I've had the pleasure of briefly visiting!"

Leaning with his back against the wall and his arms folded across his chest, Daniel shot Vala his best death glare, the one that he used to reserve exclusively for Jack O'Neill.

"Oh don't be like that Darling," Vala pouted, "it really isn't that bad. I mean I understand that your planet's prison system allows for conjugal visits," she said with a seductive smile. "Don't you have," she dropped her voice to a low purr, "any prison fantasies you'd like to tell me about?"

"No," Daniel exclaimed as his cheeks redden. "I'm glad you're enjoying yourself," he mumbled in irritation over the situation, "this is serious you know!"

"Oh I'm sure it is," Vala replied flippantly as she waved her hand around. "But I'm sure Jack will have everything cleared up in no time, and then you can take me out to dinner."

Ignoring her last sentence, Daniel's brow furrowed as he asked, "why did you call Jack of all people in the first place; Landry should have been the one to notify."

"I figured General Landry would have had to call Jack anyways," Vala said shrugging, "I just…how does that phrase go…cut out the middleman."

"But…Jack," Daniel sputtered.

"I'm sure he won't hold what happened against you Darling!"

Daniel simply stared at her as if she had suddenly declared a vow of celibacy for the rest of her life.

"Alright," she conceded, "I'm sure he'll get tired of holding this incident over your head eventually. Besides, it really wasn't your fault."

"Damn straight it wasn't my fault," he ground out. "In fact, I know exactly whose fault it was," he said as he glared through the bars at Vala.

"I sincerely hope you're not implying anything Darling," Vala said with a cool look.

"What…no…Vala…I didn't mean to say it was your…it was the..." Daniel attempted to explain, but was cut off at the sound of footsteps approaching.

"Daniel," Jack exclaimed with a wide grin and arms held open, as he walked around the corner and came upon the sight before him.

"Jack," Daniel said simply as he glared at his friend.

Ignoring the agitated archeologist, Jack turned to Vala. "Vala, you're looking well, considering the circumstances."

"Thank you Jack, it's good to see a friendly face during such a trying time," she said with an upset voice, "Daniel here," she gestured to the other side of the bars, "has been trying to be brave so that I wouldn't worry," she sniffled.

Daniel rolled his eyes as Jack grinned at Vala's antics.

"Don't worry Vala," Jack said reassuringly, "I'll make sure everything…"

"Jack," Daniel interrupted in a tone that said, _Don't you dare joke about this!_

"Why Daniel," Jack said innocently, "I'm just trying to reassure Vala that everything will be alright. After all," he added with a grin, 'it's not everyday that her man ends up being arrested for insurance fraud!"

Pointing an accusing finger at Jack, Daniel bit out, "this is all your fault!"

Turning to Vala standing beside him, Jack pointed to himself and mouthed, "Me!" To which Vala simply shrugged.

"Yes you," Daniel shouted as he caught sight of the exchange, "if you had simply filled out the paper work when I came back from the 'dead,' they wouldn't be accusing me of faking my death for the insurance money!"

"Hey," Jack defended himself, "I did fill out the papers. Is it my fault the paperwork got lost in the system?"

Daniel sighed as he tried to calm down. "No, no it isn't. I'm sorry Jack, it's just…"

"Ah, it's o.k. Danny boy, I understand," Jack said, "prison tends to change a man," he added sagely.

"Just get me out of here," he ground out.

"Yes Jack," Vala added, "he's been in there such a long time. I'm sure he's developed…needs!" She added in an exaggerated whisper.

Daniel ducked his head in embarrassment as Jack laughed.

"Right," Jack said between bouts of laughter, "I'll get the guard to spring ya, just relax Daniel," he concluded as he turned, gave a grin to Vala, and went to speak to the Officer in Charge.

Looking up as Jack walked out of sight, Daniel regarded Vala. "Vala," he said in a dry tone.

Giving him a cheeky grin, "I was just joking Darling, no harm done."

"I'll make it up to you when we get home," she added as he continued to study her.

"Oh," Daniel looked at her curiously, "how?"

"Well," she replied giving him a seductive grin, "like I told Jack, a man who has been in prison tends to develop needs. Wouldn't you agree Darling?"

Daniel grinned back at Vala, as he turned to look in the direction that Jack had disappeared down. "Jack," he shouted, "get me out of here now!"

xxx

**A/N:** Just got a policy renewal letter and it sparked this idea. Let's face it, after dying so many times, Daniel's got to have problems getting any type of insurance. Especially if his old policies were paid out after his deaths. Also since things were so hectic after his return to the mortal realm, what with Anubis and then the Ori. I'm thinking he wouldn't have had time to deal with that stuff until after things calmed down. I hope you enjoyed my idea of what could have happened.


End file.
